I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
