He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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