I just saw a hot homeless man
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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