he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
