Duck Duck Cougar?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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