After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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