Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
