so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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