I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
