i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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