hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
