woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
