She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
