Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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