Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
