if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
she pinky promised me she was 18
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
