All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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