I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
