i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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