The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize