I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
