I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Every concussion has its silver lining
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
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