You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
