Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize