What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
