I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
