Do you still have your period?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You pole danced in your parka.
So much rum. So many feels.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
