she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.