Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now