That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES