Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
19 People Confess The Craziest Sex Act They’ve Ever Participated In
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
17 People Admit the Worst Thing They’ve Done To a Server
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in