im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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