you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
