Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
