Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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