dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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