I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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