i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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