I wanna bring you to show and tell
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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