id be glad to
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
