she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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