It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
