Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Is it because I queefed?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Randomize
