He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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