I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
