i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
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I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
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It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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