their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
