What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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