Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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