You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just gargled with NyQuil
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
