I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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