Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
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You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
There's even glitter on my cock...
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