she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
