one might say we're banned from that church
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
