hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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