had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
