U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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