i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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