i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
