I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
