why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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