Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
