You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
