I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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