that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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